100 Days of Wisdom: Day 6 – Own Your (imperfect) Story, Discover Your (perfect) Power

Wisdom Day 6

Read about the 100 days of Wisdom™ Project by Tonya Marie

Follow me on Twitter @WisdomWhispers and the hashtag #100daysofwisdom for more reflections on life, love and the wisdom of Spirit!

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection


I don’t know about you, but Brene Brown’s quote above touched the very essence of my being!

So much of the first third of my life (wow, I am now old enough to actually say that!) was a carefully constructed one. I came into this world with an “err on the side of caution” and “I’ll just do it myself” energy. My early childhood experiences reinforced concern for safety, security and self-reliance. And because every action we take — whether beneficial or harmful — has some sort of payoff, my self-reliant perfectionist mindset seemed to serve me well … at least early on.

But “A”s, accolades and awards, setting myself “apart” and being “on top” has its downside. It can be lonely and unfulfilling if nothing you do is ever quite good enough; especially if you also buy into the lie that it’s you against the world because you aren’t good enough. Selah [pause … and think on that].

But now that I’ve spent more years in adulthood than childhood, I realize the childhood coping mechanisms that served some purpose in the past and formed much of the “person of excellence” addiction that propelled me to succeed early and often, may not serve me as well now.

My higher, evolved Divine nature is called to serve, to teach, to heal. In order to follow that calling I must be patient, kind and compassionate with others and, yes, especially with myself. And what I’ve learned (oh yes, the hard way …) is that those callings propel and compel me not only to be open but, at times, broken open.

It is only when we are broken open, when our masks crack and crumble to the ground, that the light within can shine outward through the spaces and places that remain. And only when we are present and authentic enough to participate in love’s energetic exchange (yes, it’s participatory and we have to opt-in) will we know, appreciate and be able to access our authentic power and truth of our light.

It’s not about conquering, it’s about connection. This isn’t war, this is life.

Embracing my vulnerabilities and remaining open and loving even and especially in the midst of fear of judgment actually strengthens my courage muscle. It also reminds me that the only judgment I truly need to face and overcome is judgment of my self; the one who did the best she could do given what she knew at the time.

Once the walls tumble down, then — and only then — are we truly open, available and free. Only when we accept the darkness as a divine messenger will we receive the message of the “the infinite power of our light”, the value of vulnerability and the divinity of connection. Resolve to own your story. It’s the path to your power.

Be well, be free & SHINE!

Tonya Marie

[Take 10 empowering minutes to experience Brene’s TED Talk on Connection.]

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Wisdom in the Whisper™ and WisdomintheWhisper.com by Tonya Marie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Based on a work at www.wisdominthewhisper.com.

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