100 Days of Wisdom: Wisdom Day 15 — Real Transition Requires Real Metamorphosis

Wisdom Day 15

“Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.”  – Martha Beck

© 2012 Tonya M. Evans [re-posted with permission from www.bythespirt.net]

Transforming your “self” into the “you” you were really born to be requires time, attention and faith in a divine plan. It also requires courage to co-create with Spirit your best self with each intention, thought and action.

Of course this all sounds great in theory. And maybe you even agree that your life needs a healthy dose of transformation to take you to a higher altitude above all the turbulence of your current situation.

But “where do I begin”, you ask? How does one begin such a TRANSFORMATION?

Start with your passion!

If you don’t know what your passion is, your first step is to find out. Be a courageous and delightfully curious student in the quest to identify your life’s passion and then nurture it with every fiber of your being. Why does your passion require such unwavering focus? Because so many decisions about your “tomorrows” cannot be made from a position of strength until you first identify:

  1. where you’re going; and
  2. what fuel will get your there.

Consider the fuel of your best life your passion.

“It’s about figuring out what you’re great at, what it takes to keep you moving forward, and exactly what [and who] you need to succeed.”

Need more wisdom on your journey of transformation? Paula @ TheDailyOWN.com shared some wonderfully wise insights about transition and transformation in her latest blog post:

Sometimes the things that are hard to do are often the ones that I most need to do.  This Martha Beck OYou Boot Camp Challenge week has been no walk in the park.  It’s been more like a hard run uphill with a lot of stops to catch my breath…not sure where I’m going or not always confident that I will get there.

With the week already mid-way through, I picked up the largest stack of Oprah O Magazines that I could find last night as I walked into bed.  Here are just a few things that stood out to me… Read the rest at TheDailyOWN.com.


Creative Commons License
Wisdom in the Whisper™ and WisdomintheWhisper.com by Tonya Marie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Based on a work at www.wisdominthewhisper.com.

Finding joy in the process of grief

“Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.” – Dr. Earl A. Grollman

I’ve been more quiet than usual this month because I’ve been dealing with the final transition of my grandmother, Celeste Lee Jones Borden (a/k/a Nana), on March 30, 2012.

We celebrated her Homegoing Service on Saturday, April 7, 2012 and although her passing was not unexpected, I am still adjusting to the reality that her physical presence as I knew it is gone forever.

[I wrote about her fearless spirit in a February 15, 2012 post “Resolve. Commit. Just do it!]

I celebrate her life well lived and the amazing times we’ve shared not only throughout my life but especially at the end of her life. Thankfully, we had the opportunity to ensure that nothing was left unsaid or undone (a true gift!). I also celebrate her spiritual freedom from a body that was in rapid decline. Yet still, I miss her physical presence immensely.

I have and continue to experience the full range of emotions that surface in the midst of the grieving process; the bitter, the sweet, the heaviness, the light. I’ve experienced joyful visitations by her loving presence that created pure miracles, especially when I felt alone and in need of encouragement. And I intend to share those personal and reflective moments in the weeks and months to come as I unpack their significance and influence. But for now, I choose to lean into and surrender to the process.

After her transition I committed to maintaining space to breathe and room to grieve. I have been intentional about creating opportunities for silent reflection, tears, remembering, forgetting, communing with nature, family and friends and for accepting what is.

I’ve been protective of my time and energy, my emotions and my process, choosing to spend time in solitude or with those who have the divine ability to honor the emotional space I am in. Those light workers and “soul” mates in my life gifted with the ability to honor where I am without trying to fix me. They “hold the space” by holding me, they listen while I repeat myself and lose my train of thought, allow me to come undone, and energize and support me in my process.

I am not focused on a result. There is no destination, plan or agenda for my grief. I’m open to the journey because I know that the only way to is through. On this journey, I celebrate and acknowledge my Nana’s life, legacy and transition into a different plane of existence. And I accept that grief is a necessary process of transition; as necessary and inevitable as death itself. Grief is the beginning and the end.

And most importantly, “grief is a sign that you loved well.” [Unknown]

[Originally posted at ByTheSpirit.net]

Creative Commons License
Wisdom in the Whisper™ lessons and WisdomintheWhisper.com by Tonya Marie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Based on a work at www.wisdominthewhisper.com.

Wisdom Lesson #12: Mark Nepo reminds me to never lose sight of the Light!

 “This is the trick to staying well, isn’t it: to feel the sun even in the dark. To not lose the truth of things when they go out of view. To grow just the same. To know there is still water, even when we are thirsty. To know there is still love, even when we are lonely. To know there is still peace, even when we are suffering.

None of this invalidates our pain, but only strengthens our way back into the light.”

Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening

I began this morning as I do most mornings, reading the daily message in Nepo’s The Book of Awakening. The short but spiritually sweet message was a confirmation of a consistent message I’d been receiving this week. One that I’d offered others in need of compassionate encouragement:

Never lose sight of the Light.

This is not a new or novel concept to me and perhaps not to you either. But this morning, this week and this season of transition in my life – and in the world as its energy revs and shifts toward transformation – these words are somehow taking on a new meaning. It’s not a suggestion. It’s a reality, a personal and Universal call; a mandate.

The message is to see the truth of what I have even when that very thing appears to be lacking in my personal experience. To not play the illusory game of “when I get there …” “when I have that …” “as soon as I live/work/arrive there …” or “if only I was with him/her …”.

I say illusory because although it’s mindful to have a plan, a goal without divine perspective is ill-conceived and the cause of much of our “mis-creation” in life. Investing too much in the outcome limits our vision, distorts our reality, causes us to focus on the apparent absence of what currently exists (lack) rather than the divine potential to create what supports our best selves when we shift our awareness.

Having an “I’m not worthy, ready or able today” mindset can lead us to forget that the sun still rises and sets even when its light is obscured by clouds.  Or that the light, the answer, the way out of a box requires that we stop focusing on the four sides before us and look up toward the opening to literally and spiritually change our point of view.

The fact is that even when conditions are not what we, in our humanness, deem ideal we are still blessed with the divine ability to grow, to open, to reach up, to get up, to feel love, to experience joy and show gratitude. Indeed clearing our “space” of low energy emotions like fear, anger and hatred is the only way to remember the truth; light that is always present.

For me this means that even when a relationship has died, I am still filled with life. And even when a terminal disease threatens to decimate someone I love, holding her in clear, strong thoughts of love and light connects me to her and others who are doing the same instantly. In those times when I come face to face with the end of life transition of my Nana, the simple act of holding a straw while she fights hard to take a sip gives me profound joy.

Even when rampant injustice in the world appears to be getting worse instead of better as in the case of Trayvon Martin’s death, the most unlikely people can gather together in solidarity to show that love has no race, nationality, religion, gender or orientation; only the highest vibration of One.

The trick, though, is to never lose sight of the light. And then to take root wherever you are and remember the radiant warmth and know that you will see it again. Companionship exists even when we feel alone. Health and wholeness exist even when someone is ill. Life exists even when those we love transition from the physical. Justice exists even when people act in unjust and profoundly unloving ways.

The truth is we cannot afford to lose our perspective when our circumstances appear to be dark. Our ability to not only survive but thrive requires us to pause, get still, get clear and wait with expectancy knowing that in time our eyes will adjust. In time we will be able to see even in the midst of darkness.

Even in the darkness, the ever-present miracle can reveal itself. That moment when we spot the glimmer of light that was always there, the one waiting for us to see so it can lead us toward the Way.

Creative Commons License
Wisdom in the Whisper™ lessons and WisdomintheWhisper.com by Tonya Marie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Based on a work at www.wisdominthewhisper.com.