100 Days of Wisdom: Wisdom Day 75 – Iyanla Vanzant on The Wisdom & Power of Love

Wisdom Day 75

Read about the 100 days of Wisdom™ Project by Tonya Marie

Follow me on Twitter @WisdomWhispers and hashtag #100daysofwisdom for more reflections on life, love and the wisdom of Spirit!

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“In love, there is a total acceptance of self, and a willingness to give of self without an expectation of receiving anything in return. When you love, you are not afraid to share the truth of who you are, and you accept the truth of others without judgment.”

~Iyanla Vanzant~

Iyanla Vanzant returns to OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network with season 2 of Iyanla: Fix My Life this Saturday, April 13th 9/8c.

Click here to see the trailer and full episodes or to find OWN on your TV!

Be well, loving … & WISE!

Tonya Marie

[#OWNAmbassador]

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Wisdom in the Whisper™ and WisdomintheWhisper.com by Tonya Marie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Based on a work at www.wisdominthewhisper.com.

100 Days of Wisdom: Wisdom Day 66- The Wisdom of Seeing Life as It Really Is (because it’s a handful!)

Wisdom Day 66

Read about the 100 days of Wisdom™ Project by Tonya Marie

Follow me on Twitter @WisdomWhispers and hashtag #100daysofwisdom for more reflections on life, love and the wisdom of Spirit!

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“We need to see life as it is, not to hold ourselves captive to a vision of how it ought to be. We need to let go of our incessant need to impose order … to make space in our days and plans so that new things can enter our lives. Surrendering expectations opens us up for the gifts of spontaneity, serendipity, and serenity, enabling us to cast off old agendas of what’s supposed to make us happy. However, this has been one of my hardest life lessons. And yet, when I do, I am always amazed at how life surprises me with joy. You will be too.”

~ Sara Ban Breathnach ~

daysSelah … sigh. So a funny thing happened on the way to my 100 days of wisdom spiritual blogging practice … a thing called LIFE!

Life in the form of grading midterms and rough drafts, committee meetings, four-alarm personal and professional fires, student review sessions, drafting and grading finals and papers,  the holidays (holidaze??), work outs and travel and spiritual seeking ( oh my!), and, of course, executing this well-intentioned, well laid “plan” of 100 days of wisdom at any cost … oh yeah, and exhaustion. Yep. Real life.

When I embarked on 100 Days of Wisdom my intention was to share via this blog and Twitter some words of wisdom that informed, transformed and inspired me, and my reflections about them, in the hope that my posts would also inform, transform and inspire you. And then came life.

And my wonderful disciplined practice (after 53 or so days without wavering) fell to the back burner. I continued to tweet  but the “daily” blogging practice turned into something to-do. And that to-do continued to fall lower and lower on my ever-growing to-do list! Needless to say, this is an epic fail for the recovering perfectionist, whether spiritually enlightened or not.

As a result, Continue reading

Wisdom Lesson 16: Who you are is enough (and all you’ll ever be … if you’re lucky)

“You do not have to do anything to be loved, and being who you are does not let others down. This needs to be repeated, and often. Simply be who you are, and love what is before you.”

Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening (8/25)

As I make my way through Mark Nepo’s Book of Awakening one daily entry at a time I become more and more convinced that he wrote this book just for me!!!

To be sure, however, he wrote it as an expression of his awakened self; but it’s his intention to bless the spiritual journey of others (like mine and, perhaps, like yours) with the wisdom and insight he’s gathered like breadcrumbs along the way that often moves me to knowing tears. With each passing day and entry I draw closer to my “self”. And because of this I feel this book was tailor-made to be one of the brightest flashing beacons of light intended to show me the way back “home”.

Today’s entry was no exception.

Today’s entry is titled “Love Is in the Being”. I take this to mean it is not what I do that earns love but who I am — the “me” behind the mask of personality and the illusion of fear — that is love and loved just because I AM.

The entry offers that we should not be distracted by others’ expectations of who we should be (or shouldn’t be) or what we should or shouldn’t do because “[b]eing who we are doesn’t let down others.” Or at least, it shouldn’t. And even (and especially) if it does, we don’t do others or ourselves any favors by dimming our light and playing small to promote their comfort. That reminds me of another saying:

“Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Real love encourages the real you to SHINE; it doesn’t dim your awesome glow. Real love lets you exhale and lean in, it doesn’t require you to hold your breath and complete a laundry list of “to dos” before you earn your keep. In fact, real love doesn’t keep you, it lets you fly. Real love is the wind beneath your wings not the harness that keeps you tethered below the heights to which you were predestined to ascend.

Of course, love also shows up in the compassionate recognition of what others require and desire. But “the displeasure of others is no reason to muffle your love,” says Nepo. Selah [pause and think on that]. And most importantly, we cannot expect others to love without limits if we continually place limits on our own full and loving expression of self.

If your self-critic (yes, the one in your head that won’t shut up about all the ways you’ve “failed” at life) is a meaner son-of-a-gun than the meanest person you know than any perceived lack or limitation that shows up in your life is more likely a reflection of how you feel about yourself than anyone else’s opinion anyway. So start there; with the brightest and darkest parts of yourself. Love them completely. And require everyone who enters your space to do the same.

Remember, love is in the being. Because you are, you are loved. You are more than enough. And all you’ll ever be (if you’re lucky).

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Wisdom in the Whisper™ lessons and WisdomintheWhisper.com by Tonya Marie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Based on a work at www.wisdominthewhisper.com.