100 Days of Wisdom: Wisdom Day 80 – The Wisdom in Connection and Belonging

Wisdom Day 80: The Wisdom in Connection and Belonging

Read about the 100 days of Wisdom™ Project by Tonya Marie

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“Friend Chick” picture  taken during Barbra Watson-Riley’s memorial services weekend in Phoenix, AZ

“We gather in a group to be witnessed, to be supported, and to be both equalized and elevated in our struggles, gifts and ambitions. Common ground is very fertile ground … it is, what Emerson calls, “…the common heart of which all sincere conversation is worship.” Where two or more are joined with the same intention, grace intensifies and solutions multiply. Belongingness heals and nourishes with its affirmative recognition that we are not alone. Simultaneously, we are able to experience our unity and our uniqueness.” ~ Danielle LaPorte

December 22, 2013

Dearest Wisdom Circle,

Barbra Watson-Riley

I love this passage from Danielle LaPorte. And oh boy do I need a support circle right now. As an only child, sometimes I can withdrawal into my own world to be with me, myself and I when the ups, downs and challenges of life start to snowball and weigh me down. And recently I lost a childhood sister friend, Barbra Watson-Riley (a/k/a Pinkwellchick), to triple negative breast cancer.

So the allure of solitude is great.

The rush of adrenalin that hit as the signs of her inevitable passing began to quicken is gone. And the reality of her absence has hit me and her family and friends hard. But one of the greatest gifts Barbra gave to us is the gift of true, authentic, enduring friendship. She was a self-described and fully actualized “friend chick”. She had so many circles of friends and one of her greatest joys in life was when those circles intersected and overlapped. Her passing has brought us all together. To grieve. To forgive. To commune. To heal. And ultimately, to evolve.

100 Days of Wisdom: Wisdom Day 49 – Wisdom to help you get past the “sad”

Wisdom Day 49

Read about the 100 days of Wisdom™ Project by Tonya Marie

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“We live in a society where a high value is placed on being positive. Yet sometimes this simply isn’t possible, and people find themselves facing temporary or long-term sadness. Just telling yourself to ‘be positive’ isn’t much help, because moods can have a life of their own. One of the pitfalls of positivity is that people tend to fantasize about a perfect life instead of realistically facing the fact that no life is perfect. Everyone’s existence contains challenges, disappointments, frustration and failed expectations.

Further, what usually happens is that most of us become passive. We distract ourselves by watching more television or spending more hours on the computer. We wait for sadness to pass and we behave as if nothing bad is going on. Keeping up a good front is important in most people’s lives, yet behind the facade can lurk a good deal of fear. Instead of positivity, what’s needed is reality.”

~ Deepak Chopra ~

Sounds familiar? If so, check out the wisdom Deepak offers about concrete ways to cope with sadness and gain control over it.

Click here to access Deepak’s wisdom about getting past “the sad”

Be well … & WISE!

Tonya Marie

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Wisdom in the Whisper™ and WisdomintheWhisper.com by Tonya Marie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Based on a work at www.wisdominthewhisper.com.

Wisdom Lesson #7: How to Love After Losing — Loving Disentanglement

February 14, 2012

I wasn’t sure how I’d feel today but I’m happy to report (to you and to myself) I am actually in good spirits. It’s my first Valentine’s Day after the end of a … no, THE … long-term relationship; the one I believed (and hoped) would last forever that didn’t.

And despite my intellectual understanding that everything (including a relationship) either evolves or dies, and my spiritual practice that teaches only love is real, I am definitely not immune from disappointment, heartbreak and the pain of being wonderfully, fearfully human. You know … the pain that can often lead to “the bathroom floor experience”.

The Bathroom Floor Experience

I am no stranger to the “bathroom floor” experience that Iyanla, Pema Chodron, Liz Gilbert and Debbie Ford have described. That moment when you come face to face with the type of pain that breaks you – either down or open. The type of tumult that smirks as it looks you in the eye and punches you in the gut. It’s that moment when what you feared is found and what you hoped is lost.