Web Wisdom: You are (absolutely, positively) the best so be Your “SELF”!

Much gratitude to TheDailyOWN.com for the reminder!

Being ME, the authentic divinely-inspired ME, is a full-time job. So I affirm that I will always (and only) focus on being the best ME I was created to be. My responsibility, my privilege!

“Because people who mind [who I am] don’t matter; and people who matter don’t mind.”

Wisdom Lesson 16: Who you are is enough (and all you’ll ever be … if you’re lucky)

“You do not have to do anything to be loved, and being who you are does not let others down. This needs to be repeated, and often. Simply be who you are, and love what is before you.”

Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening (8/25)

As I make my way through Mark Nepo’s Book of Awakening one daily entry at a time I become more and more convinced that he wrote this book just for me!!!

To be sure, however, he wrote it as an expression of his awakened self; but it’s his intention to bless the spiritual journey of others (like mine and, perhaps, like yours) with the wisdom and insight he’s gathered like breadcrumbs along the way that often moves me to knowing tears. With each passing day and entry I draw closer to my “self”. And because of this I feel this book was tailor-made to be one of the brightest flashing beacons of light intended to show me the way back “home”.

Today’s entry was no exception.

Today’s entry is titled “Love Is in the Being”. I take this to mean it is not what I do that earns love but who I am — the “me” behind the mask of personality and the illusion of fear — that is love and loved just because I AM.

The entry offers that we should not be distracted by others’ expectations of who we should be (or shouldn’t be) or what we should or shouldn’t do because “[b]eing who we are doesn’t let down others.” Or at least, it shouldn’t. And even (and especially) if it does, we don’t do others or ourselves any favors by dimming our light and playing small to promote their comfort. That reminds me of another saying:

“Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Real love encourages the real you to SHINE; it doesn’t dim your awesome glow. Real love lets you exhale and lean in, it doesn’t require you to hold your breath and complete a laundry list of “to dos” before you earn your keep. In fact, real love doesn’t keep you, it lets you fly. Real love is the wind beneath your wings not the harness that keeps you tethered below the heights to which you were predestined to ascend.

Of course, love also shows up in the compassionate recognition of what others require and desire. But “the displeasure of others is no reason to muffle your love,” says Nepo. Selah [pause and think on that]. And most importantly, we cannot expect others to love without limits if we continually place limits on our own full and loving expression of self.

If your self-critic (yes, the one in your head that won’t shut up about all the ways you’ve “failed” at life) is a meaner son-of-a-gun than the meanest person you know than any perceived lack or limitation that shows up in your life is more likely a reflection of how you feel about yourself than anyone else’s opinion anyway. So start there; with the brightest and darkest parts of yourself. Love them completely. And require everyone who enters your space to do the same.

Remember, love is in the being. Because you are, you are loved. You are more than enough. And all you’ll ever be (if you’re lucky).

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Wisdom in the Whisper™ lessons and WisdomintheWhisper.com by Tonya Marie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Based on a work at www.wisdominthewhisper.com.

Wisdom Lesson #5: Mark Nepo reminds me that people who matter love the authentic ME!

“And how many times, once trained in self-sacrifice, do we have the opposite conversation with ourselves; our passion for life saying yes, yes, yes, and our practical guardedness saying, don’t be foolish, be realistic, don’t leave yourself unprotected. But long enough on the journey, and we come to realize an even deeper aspect of all this: that those who truly love us will never ask us to be other than we are.” ~ Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening

I was first introduced to Mark Nepo’s soul-inspiring book through an interview on Oprah’s Soul Series on XM Radio. I saw the interview recently on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday. And after hearing the interview replay on XM I decided to buy The Book of Awakening and buy copies for others as well (just like Oprah did!). She was right. This gem is not the type of light you hide under a bowl. It’s meant to shine for all. It’s the type of wisdom you receive and then share.

Mark reminds me that people who matter not only don’t care that I am not “perfect” by some external measure, they encourage me and stand with me in being perfectly ME. People who matter don’t spend a lifetime or any time trying to change me into something I am not. They encourage, support and love me toward the fulfillment of my divine calling; who it is I was placed on this earth to be. Not some projection of perfection or the dream or expectations of someone else fulfilled through me, but the “me” that shines when I am living, loving and being … unapologetically and on “purpose”.

So the bottom line is …

“people who mind don’t matter and people who matter don’t mind.”

Instead of always foregoing what’s in your best to meet the expectations of others for what you should have, do or be, decide for yourself. When people ask you to be something you are not, it means they don’t know you. Not really. Either they have not taken the time to know you or you haven’t allowed them in close enough to know the real you.

Rather than pleasing others for their sakes, please your self for your own sake. Your life is the only life you actually have control over so be a good steward. When you say yes, mean yes. When you say no, mean no. Align your thoughts, decisions, actions with the frequency and cadence of your own heart beat.

When your heart sings you become more of your self, the self God intends for you to be.