100 Days of Wisdom: Wisdom Day 65 – The Wisdom in Finding the Mate(s) to Your Soul

Wisdom Day 65

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 “People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. … A soul mates’ purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”

~ Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love ~

blackcouplehugging2The term soul mate seems to have taken on a highly romanticized and idealized life of its own. And this larger-than-(real) life version basically professes there is only one person on the planet for you uniquely suited to be your intimate romantic life partner.

This suggests lack and limitation; that you only have one shot at romantic bliss and that if you miss it, squander it, lose it or abuse it your opportunity at “happily ever after” is gone forever.

It also fails to appreciate that there may be other types of soul mates sent to sow into our lives.

Of course there is no shortage of self-helpy advice about how to find and keep your soul mate. The question is whether finding and keeping this one soul mate is necessary or even possible.

In fact, the way Liz Gilbert describes “soul mate” it seems there is little, if anything, we can do to find (or avoid) our real soul mates (plural intended). The reason is because we are here on this planet to fulfill our purpose. And our soul mates are sent (in various packages and for certain periods of time) to illuminate our path and to help us to evolve, grow and “be ye transformed” along the way. A soul mate can appear as friend, family, lover, life partner or even adversary.

Liz Gilbert’s quote above from Eat, Pray, Love led me to reflect on how far away her understanding of soul mate is from the more common understanding of soul mate. To me, Gilbert’s “aha moment” style explanation of “soul mate”  resonates deeply because it acknowledges real soul mating has more to do with our soul’s evolution (complete with its joys and heartaches and life lessons) than with some rose-colored viewed of heart-pounding passion and love. That may be a part of a soul connection, but that is far from the primary point.

Soul mates expose our fears, vulnerabilities and perceived limitations. In the eyes of our soul mates, we see our imperfect human selves and are given opportunities to heal and, as Marianne Williamson says, “return to love”. And we don’t have to actively seek a soul mate because they too have their own divine assignment.

At each crossroad in our lives, a soul mate awaits us. Soul mates may not reveal themselves in the way we envisioned, but they are perfectly suited for the lessons the Creator intends for us to learn and the experiences we are meant to have. And it all happens in a certain divine order and timing.

So those people with whom you have an immediate emotional reaction and connection, be it love, fear, passion, anger, or even hate, are likely a soul mate in some way, sent to be the very mirror you need at that moment in your life. When you recognize this you can more fully surrender to any emotionally charged experience as the very teacher and lesson you need to ensure your soul’s evolution. Because soul mate connections always lead to your soul’s transformation.

Be well … & WISE!

Tonya Marie


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Wisdom in the Whisper™ and WisdomintheWhisper.com by Tonya Marie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Based on a work at www.wisdominthewhisper.com.

2 thoughts on “100 Days of Wisdom: Wisdom Day 65 – The Wisdom in Finding the Mate(s) to Your Soul

    • Yes indeedy! I regularly see the same people in my huge high-rise. Either we’re the ONLY five or six people in the building or we’re here to teach each other something. Spiritual food for thought for sure. Peace, T

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